Sometimes I have a hard time finding the right feed for my games (the feed out of Vancouver), but typically streaming access is pretty good.
I know posting this probably goes against everything I believe in by going after a story, rather than the story within the story, but I’m also a huge attention whore, so if you’re interested, take a gander. I recommend for a head explosion or some comedy, skip to the 2nd clip and hear what the Republicans have to say about the Speech. You can probably predict everything, though. Obama in a room full of gun-loving Republicans sounds dangerously close to Mississippi Burning all over again.
Let no one take my words below as prejudice. I am a proponent of free speech and of sarcasm, and if you can’t tell the difference between prejudice and sarcasm, well, do us all a favour – please don’t vote. Ever.
1. They’re both black. Wait, no, one is whole chocolate milk, the other is half and half.
2. Both are socialists. Wait, no – that’s not true either. Obamacare is NOT socialism and neither are any of Obama’s other policies, unless you’re talking about CORPORATE socialism or corporatism or fascism. He’s a right wing president. Get your facts right. JFK, if you listen to his words and the policies he pushed for, was far more socialist than Obama could hope to be. JFK was undoubtedly a liberal or progressive, while Obama is a neoconservative whose policies are more like Reagan’s and Bush’s than JFK’s. The rich are getting richer, and the poor are getting poorer. Congratulations, you got your old job back! Unfortunately, we have to cut your salary by 1/3 (meanwhile our profits are sky high).
3. MLK was unabashedly antiwar. Obama had to be bitch slapped for killing children in Pakistan by a 17 year old girl.
4. MLK ultimately improved race relations. Obama has caused a rift in the country, and racism is on the rise, particularly in the police force and fascism lurks at every corner.
5. Corporate tax cuts and bailouts for bankers and oil companies? That would be your president. MLK’s head would have exploded at the idea.
6. After all the fearmongering by Fox News that Obama would be radically different than any president in US history, the president has continued many of Bush’s policies, in some cases going further right.
7. The wars never end. Dr. King would NOT be impressed.
Tommy Douglas was a preacher from Saskatchewan who took the country by storm and didn’t need power (never became prime minister) to become the most influential politician in Canadian history. Americans particularly need to see this if you’re on the fence about health care. Tommy was the Ron Paul of his time.
And I still have to wear a mask at work. The least they could do was let me wear a Guy Fawkes mask, but instead I have to look like one of those creepy perverts from Eyes Wide Shut. I should just wear a black cloak with nothing underneath and freak everyone out.
1. The fire alarm goes off in your building and doesn’t stop for nearly half an hour. Not only are your ears about to explode, the elevators don’t work, so there’s no escape. The noise, that is. It’s probably a false alarm anyway.
2. You have a sexy lady knock on your door, selling something. You sneeze a massive snot-ball in her hair before you get a chance to turn on the “charm.”
3. People tell you you’re not really that sick and you should go to work. You hock a loogie on their sweater.
4. George Carlin comes back from the dead as your guardian angel, but being touched by an atheist doesn’t work. You’re still sick. And George bailed on you to smoke some weed.
5. You turn on the TV and it’s the Food Network.
6. You wake up in a sea of used kleenex’s.
7. The toilet is broken, but you had to use it anyway. The shower doesn’t work either, so try not to crap your pants.
8. You get a phone call from some nimrod who wants you to complete a survey on food intake and bowel movements.
9. You live a block from the entertainment district and it’s a 2 AM on a Friday night.
10. You blow your nose and it causes you to crap your pants.